HAPPY NEW MONTH. Welcome to the month of luv

This is the month of Love so make sure to show some of it anywhere you go. It's not just about you and your partner if you have one. It's about everyone around you. The strangers, your family, co workers, school mates and generally anyone at all.

Here is something you can do this week or maybe we should use it as this months focus. Try an act of charity. Give something to someone that needs it, anyone at all. Just make sure to make a reasonable impact on someones life before the end of the month.

ARE OMISSIONS ALSO LIES?

Good morning everyone, how's you all doing today. Something actually crossed my mind out of who knows where and I decided to talk about it this morning and of cos as usual get your own opinions on the matter. So the topic is on Lies and Omissions in relationships.

So let's say you're in a relationship now and probably doing something that you know that is wrong or that would cause an issue between you and your partner. It could be something that you both just don't agree on, it mustn't be morally wrong but that isn't an exception either. Very few people are able to keep tackling the issue head on until an understanding or conclusion is reached. While a whole lot of people either fall back to Lies or Omissions. Now I know you all know the meaning but let me still explain a little still.





Lies: This is when you openly tell a lie to your partner for reasons best known to you. Either to protect yourself, the information you refuse to release, deceive your partner into believing something else or protect the relationship form any harm that the truth might cause.


Omissions:  This is when you knowingly leave out an information or a particular detail of an event that might or will put you in trouble in your relationship.

So now let me paint a picture for you guys...


Take for instance, you go out with friends and amongst those friends there is a certain someone that your partner normally wouldn't approve you to go out with.Not like you invited the person to the hang out but the person is there. Now your partner asks how your day was and you simply say "fine". Your partner asks, "did you go anywhere " and you reply with "yes, I went out with friends and it was fun". Your partner asks after your friends that you were to hang out with one by one and you respond. Now your partner didn't ask about that particular friend and so you didn't tell...right? Yet deep inside you, you know that you weren't meant to go anywhere with that person and that it was only right to let your partner know what you did. However since he didn't ask anything, you didn't say anything. So to you, you believe that "you didn't tell a lie"
   Now also picture when mistakenly, something goes wrong and you just somehow happen have a fall out with this person that you've been warned against. Your partner still doesn't come out to ask "Did you have a fall out with Me. A or Mrs. B?" so as usual you still won't have to say anything.  So right now, "you still didn't tell a lie" Right? Alright cool. However remember that bringing technicalities into a relationship and trying to play mind games is one of the sneakiest ways to quickly destroy your relationship. Relationships aren't like businesses that you can use technicalities and details of contract to bend the rules in order for them to suit you. Turning your relationship into a game, a mind game can wreck things for you and your partner.

I believe that even though an omission doesn't technically mean a lie, it is still a lie of some sort. It is callled a 'lie of omission'. Now of cos "technically" you didn't come out straight and deceive your partner with the wrong information but I also believe that the fact that you know right from wrong, and still chose to do wrong tells a lot.
           I read a meme online saying that cheating doesn't mean that you went to sleep with someone outside your relationship, that as long as you have found yourself hiding your text messages, then you are already cheating. This is exactly the same thing that applies when it comes to lies of omission. Simply because you left out an information doesn't justify anything.

Another thing about omissions is that even if you do it for the sake of peace, it could lead you into temptation. For example, picture the scenario I painted above about you going out with someone and with time you start having an affair with the person while 'omitting it from conversations'. I strongly believe that it's because you gave room for the so called omissions, that is the reason why with time you have become comfortable with the mind state of "What they don't know wouldn't hurt them". Through that mind state you are now able to do whatever you like with no boundaries while giving yourself the excuse of 'omitting the details'.

The lie of omission starts out as a very little lie that you can classify as not being a lie at all but could lead you into many different things. Always remember that playing games in your relationship is very dangerous. Try to be honest and build trust. Even if you keep fighting with your partner over issues, it's best to fight it out than to destroy trust through lies. A relationship built on lies is just fiction in my own opinion.


Now my question here is this...

To you, whether you are the one being omitted to (if their is such English) or the one doing the omission. Do you consider an omission as a lie? Have you ever done this in your relationship? What would be your reaction if your partner were to do this?

MYTH, WEDDING RINGS ARE HANDCUFFS.

Have you ever come across this saying.... "A wedding ring is the small handcuff ever...so choose your cell mate wisely and sentence yourself carefully". Yeah I bet if you have been on any social media for the past year or so then you must have seen it once or twice. Well this isn't the truth. We are going to be debunking this one today.




In all honesty, their are restrictions that will apply once you get married but it depends on a lot of things. Not everything you used to do would be easy to back to. This is mostly because of different reasons that range from personal choices, responsibility, growth and maturity, change in character and of cos restriction from your spouse. Yes even though I am debunking the myth I won't lie and say that there aren't spouses that might cause you to change a couple of things.

Here is the thing, you always have a choice in life. You can choose to be happy, you can choose to be sad, you can choose to be married or to be single. And just the same way you have these choices, so do you get to choose the person you are going to be with. Marriage won't feel like a prison to you if you get married to someone that you truly understand and that truly understands you. Yes! look at what I said, someone that you understand and that truly understands you. A common mistake people make these days is getting too caught up in trying to please themselves that they forget their partner. People tend to forget that for things to move smoothly, there has to be consideration from the both parties. Now if you find someone that has a good understanding towards you and vice-versa, even though duties and responsibilities might come up and restrict you from doing a couple of things once in a whil, you are hardly going to feel it because you will be happy.

Finally I'll like to tell you guys this....Remember what I keep telling you guys about mind state? Most things you do in this life especially how you feel towards certain things are all based on your mind state. If you have in your mind that marriage is going to be like prison. Yes, you might feel like you are bracing yourself and preparing yourself for marriage and everything it has to offer and I admit, depending on who you are with, you might be right. However by keeping that mind state, you would have already sentenced yourself to a restricted and frustrating marriage even before you get into it. The dangerous part of this is that people who think like this often end up unhappy and feeling caged in even when they aren't being restricted by their partner. You should learn to keep a positive mind because a negative one would have a negative impact on your emotions regardless of any positive action your spouse might take.

Learn to open your heart and mind to positivity, learn to choose happiness, I can honestly tell you that marriage isn't as bad as people paint it to be. Choose your partner well, there might be bad days but hey! who doesn't have bad days even on their own. Marriage is bound to have it's bad days but conditioning your mind that marriage is going to be like  prison is going to make it feel just like that for you. In the long run you are going to end up frustrated and frustrate your spouse out of the marriage.

ANOTHER LOVE STORY THAT YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH.

think we all have experienced this love story. My question is why is it always the small toe that falls in love with the table. L

YOUR BACKGROUND IS NOT AN EXCUSE FIR YOUR BACK TO REMAIN ON THE GROUND.

If you do not like your present background for any reason or where you are in life, then do not let it affect you or determine the outcome of your life. It should be the more reason why your should fight it instead of settle for it. It is easy to give in and allow your present location in life or where you come from determine the way you make your journey and your destination. But you have to learn to put up a fight in this life, a fight against circumstances, a fight against outcomes. If you do not like where you are, then why let it determine your destination and lead your way for you. You should be fighting to make a change and not giving in. Stop telling yourself that your situation is helpless and that because of who you are or how your family is or whatever other excuse you have made up in your head, that you cannot be in a certain place. Life is a constant struggle, an everyday struggle to make the next day a better one. If you do not like where you are right now then your struggle should be to change it.





There are lots of people out there who come from poor homes, abusive backgrounds and all sorts of other roots. But if there is one thing I believe in this life, it's that every single person is capable of making a change. It just depends on if you believe it yourself. You see your beliefs place limits on you in this life. If your belief is that you can never make it out of where you are and that you would always end up somehow living a similar lifestyle to the one that you detest because that is the only way you saw how to live while growing. Or that it just simply is your root, then you would surely end up like that. But if you believe that no matter where you might be coming from or that no matter what the world throws at you, that you alone gets to shape your own life, then you can become whatever you want to be. Negative thoughts give rise to negative outcomes just like limiting beliefs place barriers to the height which you can rise to or above.

In this life we all have a choice and the way our life turns out depends on the decisions we make. The path you take today would determine where and how you might end up.

 Just take a look at the world today, you'll see people from different places, families, the projects, the slums and the ghettos. If you walk the streets you would see all kinds of people. People out there grinding and hustling as hard as they can everyday in any way they know to make it out of the lifestyle they were born into. They turn to different trades like, acting, music, art and other crafts. Just for a shot at a better life. Now if you still look again, in fact you wouldn't need to look too hard because this other set dominate the population. Am talking of the set of people that have accepted what they have around them and believe they would never be able to make it out of the system they live in. So they give up and face the life they already know, the only life that they are used to. They turn to robbery, gang banging, murder and other social vices. At the end of the day it always makes them feel better when they turn and point fingers at the government for creating "the system". But if you look closer you will find out that if only they believed a little more like some others, they would have had a better chance. Look at the different big names you have around you, from musicians to Engineers, from actors to Scientists, people of different trades and businesses. If you look very deep into the origin of some of them if not most, you would be shocked at how similar their conditions where to yours today. These people never gave up, they never gave in. They believed and because of that, they are where they are today.
    
As I have said before, it all depends on what you choose to believe. Do you believe that because you come from an abusive home that you can never raise a happy family? Or that because your dad hits your mum that you would end up hitting your wife so you accept that it's the way your life should be. Or maybe you believe as girl that because your mum didn't exactly make her living through the most respectable means that you would have to result to such things to get to wherever you might be going. Let me tell you now that this life is what you make it to be. You alone have the power to determine how things are going to be for you. You alone have the power to choose the outcome of your life and if you choose change, then you will have change. If you choose a certain life style, you cannot blame it on your background, you would be the one to answer for it. Not the government, not your parents, not your friends, not the system, but you! If it's a good lifestyle then fine you will have your rewards but if it's a lifestyle you wouldn't be proud of then you alone made that decision and the consequences would be yours alone to bear.

But if you are reading this and you believe you have already made a wrong turn at a certain point. Do not have any fear, you still have a choice and you can choose to make another turn right now, to make the right turn this time. So which is it going to be? Are you going to let your background choose your life for you? Or are you going to choose your life for yourself.

I know you are out there reading this right now and you might be fighting this message and telling yourself how our faith is already set for you. How change is for certain people. Well I want you to know that it's okay to give into this message, it's okay to let go and make a good change. This is your life, you get only one shot in this life. We aren't sure if there is an after life, so make sure you make the best of this one. Make the right decision towards change!

WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS GUY, "BORIS KODJOE

Today I want to share something about someone most of us know from
what we have seen on our screens, from the movies and the
adverts he has starred in. Boris Kodjoe is a talented actor that
has appeared in many different movies but we would mostly
remember him from the 2000 movie titled "Love and
Basketball". I'm sure most of you have seen that movie. A real
classic and for some reason I can't even believe that it's as
recent as 15 years ago.
What we didn't know was what he was doing before he got to
acting and modelling.
You see before he got to be know for modelling, starring in tyler
perry movies, Kevin Hart's "Real Husbands of Hollywood",
addicted and many more roles he has played in movies and T.V
series, Boris was one heck of a sportsman. Yeap...how do you
think he got the edge on keeping that good looking body.
This man right here was one of the best in his country in
Tennis and it won him a scholarship to Virginia Commonwealth
University. However everything came crashing down when he
suffered a terrible injury to the back and was told by doctors
that he couldn't carry on playing the game. He had to quit the
game he loved and was so good at. Although he still plays it but
not professionally and a little more lightly to avoid any further
injuries. When the news that he couldn't play the game anymore
came to him, he sank into depression for a while but evidently
that didn't last forever.
Today he is a big name in Hollywood and is popular as a model
and an actor. He didn't know his luck was coming when he went
to visit his sister in New York. He first started with the modelling
and furthered his career into acting when he appeared in the
movie "Love and Basketball.
I think Boris's life is an inspiration and a message to all of us. A
message to everyone hustling to make it out there to not worry.
His life literally says "Be patient, everything will be okay". I
have to say I totally agree with him. You see, things might not
be working out the way you have planned them. Your life might
not be steering you towards the direction you want but do not
beat yourself up. Sometimes you just have to sit back, let life
take the wheel, find out where it leads you then take the lead
from there. When things are going the other way do not let that
depression take over you. That mind state is dangerous and
could lead you to dangerous decisions. Learn to wait it out.
That contract that you missed, that job you got fired from or any
kind of disappointment that you are experiencing doesn't spell
the end of the road for you. Instead look at it as an opportunity
to explore another path. If you are working hard towards one
direction and it's almost as if everything you are doing is
pushing you away from that path then you might want to think
of looking at another path. It doesn't mean giving up, it means
taking correction and embracing your destiny. You never know,
you might make it more in this new path than you would have
ever made it in the one you planned for yourself. So learn to let
go, try something new, panic less and most of all..."Be patient".
Train yourself to be patient enough to wait for your opportunity
but observant enough to grab it before it passes you
by...Success is yours!
Do have a fulfilled week.

HEALTHY LIVING

We all know that eating the adequate amount of food
depending on your weight is one of the major ways to maintain
a healthy lifestyle. The role of food in our everyday life can
never be over emphasized. But did you know that eating at a
particular time could also be going against your efforts? For
example eating too late in the morning would take you into
starvation mode and eating late at night causes weight
increase. Well let's see what the best time to eat is.
Breakfast: After your body goes 7 hours or more through the
night without having anything to feed it. It starts to search for
food not long after you wake up. Breakfast as we know is the
most important meal of the day. So the best time to eat food
according to your personal time is about 30 mins after you
wake up. If you follow a regular routine you would sleep by 9 or
10 P.M and be awake around 6 or 6:30. Then you can eat
around 7:00 A.M. Make sure you eat before it's 8:00 A.M.
Don't forget to take a glass of water immediately after you
wake up. So that means the fridge beside your bed should be
packed with bottles of water and fruits not chocolate and cake.
Remember eating too late would cause your body to go into
starvation mode and hold onto anything, then preserve it for
later in case you decide not to eat later. It's a self defense
mechanism by our body. If you eat, your body will burn what it
has. Also eat more protein during breakfast, they burn out
quicker.
Lunch: After your breakfast you are going to kickoff the day
either slowly or with full force depending on what your routine is
and what the day has to offer. So in a couple of hours, say 5
hours your food tank would be almost depleted. You would have
to restock. According to research, the best time to restock on
food would be from 12:00 noon to 1:00 P.M. During this time
you might want to introduce some carbohydrates to your plate,
they would help carry you through the mid-day which is mostly
the most hectic.
Dinner: If you work a regular job that is partially but physically
engaging, your food would run out faster that those who are
mentally engaged. Don't get me wrong, both would still end up
very hungry. The night food is really tricky because you don't
want to eat close to bed time and most times we are tempted to
want to make it to our house first. Our reason being that food
time should be uninterrupted by 'horrible bosses' sending you
on an errand or the other. Eating too late is dangerous for your
weight goal because at night your body burns less calories
(food). You want to eat early enough to give your body time to
digest the food and not eat too much. So eat more proteins and
vegetable from 5:30 but not later than 7:30.
Extra Tip: I know it isn't easy but try to keep a regular eating
time everyday and you will see changes. Also get adequate rest
at night and take a nap if chanced in between the day to keep
you alert. Also if you can buy a pack of Caseine protein, it would
help your body through the night with it's slow food release. A
glass can take you through the night and it promotes healthy
sleep and weight loss.
Note: I mentioned Proteins, Carbohydrates and Vegetables only.
This doesn't mean that you shouldn't eat other classes of food.
Make sure you balance out the classes of food through your 3
meals.
Happy Healthy Living..