JEALOUSY IN RELATIONSHIPS

Does jealousy in relationships really mean that your partner loves you? Or does it mean something more? I'll be debunking the myth but feel free to agree or oppose my opinion and of cos drop your own opinions  via the comment section. Ready? Alright then, let's do this...

    In relationships, jealousy tends to slip in every once in a while. Well depending on the relationship it could go from slipping in every once in a while to actually being the everyday challenge that the couple faces. Mostly people tend to attribute their jealous to the fact that they love their partner so it makes them possessive of them. People say that without jealousy, then you can't exactly say that you truly love your partner. While this is true, I believe this isn't the whole truth. The thing is that this, jealousy could be a sign of love and it could also be something far from love. Let me explain more...

Now when jealousy comes only once in a while due to the feeling of neglect and other reasons close to that, you can relate that to love. Especially if the reasons are of minor origins and have little to no effect on the relationship. It is only natural that a person feels jealousy if they feel at a point that the attention and love that is meant for them isn't being given to them or that it's being given to other people. But when jealousy is built due to things like relationship issues, lack of trust in the relationship or just out of habit then there might be a problem.

If you start getting that feeling of jealousy frequently then you might want to take some time to look at your relationship. Take some time to also look at yourself and find out if your reason for jealousy is really called for or if you just tend to over react to minor issues. Yes jealousy can mean that you love and want to protect your partner but it could also mean that their are deeper issues that you have to work through in your relationship.

We will leave it at this in today's topic so you all can discuss more on it. Jealousy isn't always born from love. However these above points remains my opinion due to general knowledge and personal experience. I would still love to hear what you all think?

Once again the question is this. Does jealous show love or are there other meanings to jealousy? Feel free to comment below...

AM BACK!

I can't believe it's already one year plus that we communicated here. In this one year a lot has happened. I got admitted into film school, I opened my own multimedia company and I got married to the love of my life and coincidentally today is our one month anniversary and she is graduating from the prestigious University of Agriculture Makurdi today and O.M.G it's also Val day.
 I think I will just take it slow...
I apologize deeply for the long and silent wait. I hope you forgive and continue to show us love most especially since it's a day to show love, I want to use this opportunity to thank you for your unwaivering support through the years an I promise you a better and redefined HEARTTRENDINGS.

HAPPY NEW MONTH. Welcome to the month of luv

This is the month of Love so make sure to show some of it anywhere you go. It's not just about you and your partner if you have one. It's about everyone around you. The strangers, your family, co workers, school mates and generally anyone at all.

Here is something you can do this week or maybe we should use it as this months focus. Try an act of charity. Give something to someone that needs it, anyone at all. Just make sure to make a reasonable impact on someones life before the end of the month.

ARE OMISSIONS ALSO LIES?

Good morning everyone, how's you all doing today. Something actually crossed my mind out of who knows where and I decided to talk about it this morning and of cos as usual get your own opinions on the matter. So the topic is on Lies and Omissions in relationships.

So let's say you're in a relationship now and probably doing something that you know that is wrong or that would cause an issue between you and your partner. It could be something that you both just don't agree on, it mustn't be morally wrong but that isn't an exception either. Very few people are able to keep tackling the issue head on until an understanding or conclusion is reached. While a whole lot of people either fall back to Lies or Omissions. Now I know you all know the meaning but let me still explain a little still.





Lies: This is when you openly tell a lie to your partner for reasons best known to you. Either to protect yourself, the information you refuse to release, deceive your partner into believing something else or protect the relationship form any harm that the truth might cause.


Omissions:  This is when you knowingly leave out an information or a particular detail of an event that might or will put you in trouble in your relationship.

So now let me paint a picture for you guys...


Take for instance, you go out with friends and amongst those friends there is a certain someone that your partner normally wouldn't approve you to go out with.Not like you invited the person to the hang out but the person is there. Now your partner asks how your day was and you simply say "fine". Your partner asks, "did you go anywhere " and you reply with "yes, I went out with friends and it was fun". Your partner asks after your friends that you were to hang out with one by one and you respond. Now your partner didn't ask about that particular friend and so you didn't tell...right? Yet deep inside you, you know that you weren't meant to go anywhere with that person and that it was only right to let your partner know what you did. However since he didn't ask anything, you didn't say anything. So to you, you believe that "you didn't tell a lie"
   Now also picture when mistakenly, something goes wrong and you just somehow happen have a fall out with this person that you've been warned against. Your partner still doesn't come out to ask "Did you have a fall out with Me. A or Mrs. B?" so as usual you still won't have to say anything.  So right now, "you still didn't tell a lie" Right? Alright cool. However remember that bringing technicalities into a relationship and trying to play mind games is one of the sneakiest ways to quickly destroy your relationship. Relationships aren't like businesses that you can use technicalities and details of contract to bend the rules in order for them to suit you. Turning your relationship into a game, a mind game can wreck things for you and your partner.

I believe that even though an omission doesn't technically mean a lie, it is still a lie of some sort. It is callled a 'lie of omission'. Now of cos "technically" you didn't come out straight and deceive your partner with the wrong information but I also believe that the fact that you know right from wrong, and still chose to do wrong tells a lot.
           I read a meme online saying that cheating doesn't mean that you went to sleep with someone outside your relationship, that as long as you have found yourself hiding your text messages, then you are already cheating. This is exactly the same thing that applies when it comes to lies of omission. Simply because you left out an information doesn't justify anything.

Another thing about omissions is that even if you do it for the sake of peace, it could lead you into temptation. For example, picture the scenario I painted above about you going out with someone and with time you start having an affair with the person while 'omitting it from conversations'. I strongly believe that it's because you gave room for the so called omissions, that is the reason why with time you have become comfortable with the mind state of "What they don't know wouldn't hurt them". Through that mind state you are now able to do whatever you like with no boundaries while giving yourself the excuse of 'omitting the details'.

The lie of omission starts out as a very little lie that you can classify as not being a lie at all but could lead you into many different things. Always remember that playing games in your relationship is very dangerous. Try to be honest and build trust. Even if you keep fighting with your partner over issues, it's best to fight it out than to destroy trust through lies. A relationship built on lies is just fiction in my own opinion.


Now my question here is this...

To you, whether you are the one being omitted to (if their is such English) or the one doing the omission. Do you consider an omission as a lie? Have you ever done this in your relationship? What would be your reaction if your partner were to do this?

MYTH, WEDDING RINGS ARE HANDCUFFS.

Have you ever come across this saying.... "A wedding ring is the small handcuff ever...so choose your cell mate wisely and sentence yourself carefully". Yeah I bet if you have been on any social media for the past year or so then you must have seen it once or twice. Well this isn't the truth. We are going to be debunking this one today.




In all honesty, their are restrictions that will apply once you get married but it depends on a lot of things. Not everything you used to do would be easy to back to. This is mostly because of different reasons that range from personal choices, responsibility, growth and maturity, change in character and of cos restriction from your spouse. Yes even though I am debunking the myth I won't lie and say that there aren't spouses that might cause you to change a couple of things.

Here is the thing, you always have a choice in life. You can choose to be happy, you can choose to be sad, you can choose to be married or to be single. And just the same way you have these choices, so do you get to choose the person you are going to be with. Marriage won't feel like a prison to you if you get married to someone that you truly understand and that truly understands you. Yes! look at what I said, someone that you understand and that truly understands you. A common mistake people make these days is getting too caught up in trying to please themselves that they forget their partner. People tend to forget that for things to move smoothly, there has to be consideration from the both parties. Now if you find someone that has a good understanding towards you and vice-versa, even though duties and responsibilities might come up and restrict you from doing a couple of things once in a whil, you are hardly going to feel it because you will be happy.

Finally I'll like to tell you guys this....Remember what I keep telling you guys about mind state? Most things you do in this life especially how you feel towards certain things are all based on your mind state. If you have in your mind that marriage is going to be like prison. Yes, you might feel like you are bracing yourself and preparing yourself for marriage and everything it has to offer and I admit, depending on who you are with, you might be right. However by keeping that mind state, you would have already sentenced yourself to a restricted and frustrating marriage even before you get into it. The dangerous part of this is that people who think like this often end up unhappy and feeling caged in even when they aren't being restricted by their partner. You should learn to keep a positive mind because a negative one would have a negative impact on your emotions regardless of any positive action your spouse might take.

Learn to open your heart and mind to positivity, learn to choose happiness, I can honestly tell you that marriage isn't as bad as people paint it to be. Choose your partner well, there might be bad days but hey! who doesn't have bad days even on their own. Marriage is bound to have it's bad days but conditioning your mind that marriage is going to be like  prison is going to make it feel just like that for you. In the long run you are going to end up frustrated and frustrate your spouse out of the marriage.

ANOTHER LOVE STORY THAT YOU'RE FAMILIAR WITH.

think we all have experienced this love story. My question is why is it always the small toe that falls in love with the table. L

YOUR BACKGROUND IS NOT AN EXCUSE FIR YOUR BACK TO REMAIN ON THE GROUND.

If you do not like your present background for any reason or where you are in life, then do not let it affect you or determine the outcome of your life. It should be the more reason why your should fight it instead of settle for it. It is easy to give in and allow your present location in life or where you come from determine the way you make your journey and your destination. But you have to learn to put up a fight in this life, a fight against circumstances, a fight against outcomes. If you do not like where you are, then why let it determine your destination and lead your way for you. You should be fighting to make a change and not giving in. Stop telling yourself that your situation is helpless and that because of who you are or how your family is or whatever other excuse you have made up in your head, that you cannot be in a certain place. Life is a constant struggle, an everyday struggle to make the next day a better one. If you do not like where you are right now then your struggle should be to change it.





There are lots of people out there who come from poor homes, abusive backgrounds and all sorts of other roots. But if there is one thing I believe in this life, it's that every single person is capable of making a change. It just depends on if you believe it yourself. You see your beliefs place limits on you in this life. If your belief is that you can never make it out of where you are and that you would always end up somehow living a similar lifestyle to the one that you detest because that is the only way you saw how to live while growing. Or that it just simply is your root, then you would surely end up like that. But if you believe that no matter where you might be coming from or that no matter what the world throws at you, that you alone gets to shape your own life, then you can become whatever you want to be. Negative thoughts give rise to negative outcomes just like limiting beliefs place barriers to the height which you can rise to or above.

In this life we all have a choice and the way our life turns out depends on the decisions we make. The path you take today would determine where and how you might end up.

 Just take a look at the world today, you'll see people from different places, families, the projects, the slums and the ghettos. If you walk the streets you would see all kinds of people. People out there grinding and hustling as hard as they can everyday in any way they know to make it out of the lifestyle they were born into. They turn to different trades like, acting, music, art and other crafts. Just for a shot at a better life. Now if you still look again, in fact you wouldn't need to look too hard because this other set dominate the population. Am talking of the set of people that have accepted what they have around them and believe they would never be able to make it out of the system they live in. So they give up and face the life they already know, the only life that they are used to. They turn to robbery, gang banging, murder and other social vices. At the end of the day it always makes them feel better when they turn and point fingers at the government for creating "the system". But if you look closer you will find out that if only they believed a little more like some others, they would have had a better chance. Look at the different big names you have around you, from musicians to Engineers, from actors to Scientists, people of different trades and businesses. If you look very deep into the origin of some of them if not most, you would be shocked at how similar their conditions where to yours today. These people never gave up, they never gave in. They believed and because of that, they are where they are today.
    
As I have said before, it all depends on what you choose to believe. Do you believe that because you come from an abusive home that you can never raise a happy family? Or that because your dad hits your mum that you would end up hitting your wife so you accept that it's the way your life should be. Or maybe you believe as girl that because your mum didn't exactly make her living through the most respectable means that you would have to result to such things to get to wherever you might be going. Let me tell you now that this life is what you make it to be. You alone have the power to determine how things are going to be for you. You alone have the power to choose the outcome of your life and if you choose change, then you will have change. If you choose a certain life style, you cannot blame it on your background, you would be the one to answer for it. Not the government, not your parents, not your friends, not the system, but you! If it's a good lifestyle then fine you will have your rewards but if it's a lifestyle you wouldn't be proud of then you alone made that decision and the consequences would be yours alone to bear.

But if you are reading this and you believe you have already made a wrong turn at a certain point. Do not have any fear, you still have a choice and you can choose to make another turn right now, to make the right turn this time. So which is it going to be? Are you going to let your background choose your life for you? Or are you going to choose your life for yourself.

I know you are out there reading this right now and you might be fighting this message and telling yourself how our faith is already set for you. How change is for certain people. Well I want you to know that it's okay to give into this message, it's okay to let go and make a good change. This is your life, you get only one shot in this life. We aren't sure if there is an after life, so make sure you make the best of this one. Make the right decision towards change!